Snack #135 - Smart Fries Jalapeño Trio

These are gross! These packing peanut-like straws are crunchy, but for lack of a better description, taste like poison. Really, everything from the smell when I opened the bag, to the taste when they first hit my tongue - poison-y. Sorry I can't be more precise. The flavor is theoretically Jalapeño Trio - not really sure how you get more than one flavor of jalapeño in a single snack, but that's ok. Looking at the ingredients there is jalapeño flavor in addition to red and green pepper, so I suppose it's really more of a "pepper" trio. If you can stand to get through a few of these - which I did because I'm a responsible reviewer - a pretty nice heat builds up. My lips and tongue are definitely feeling it as I write this.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 5/10

Bottom Line: Ew.

Maybe you'll want to try another flavor, or are feeling masochistic. If so, check out the full smart fries offerings at the Hot Chicks' Store:

Gourmet Basics Smart Fries 6-Flavor Variety Pak, 1-Ounce Bags (Pack of 24)

Snack #134- Planters Trail Mix Spicy Nuts & Cajun Sticks

Planters Trail Mix Spicy Nuts & Cajun Sticks

Ok so I tasted all the components of this mix (which includes seasoned peanuts, cornnuts, Cajun sesame sticks and corn sticks, and red chile crescents) and here are my comments on these crunchy morsels:

Seasoned peanuts: The peanuts are roasted and actually pretty sweet in flavor but are covered with spicy seasoning which just gives them a little kick. They are a pretty nice addition to this mix because everything else is just salty with more salt added.

CORNNUTS: First off- I’m not sure when ‘CORNNUTS’ became a word but according to this packaging they are a special variety of nut and one that should written in all caps at all times. These cornnuts are pretty standard and not super flavorful. Highly crunchy with good corn flavor but only with a hint of the salty spice that covers the rest of the mix.

Cajun sesame sticks: SO SALTY. Wow these taste like eating a little stick of SALT. I can’t really taste any sesame and the Cajun seasonings are definitely lost in the salt. It’s almost hard to tell whether they have any spice on them or if the reaction in my mouth is from the salt.

Cajun corn sticks: These are crunchier and the flavors are more balanced- they have some heat but also taste like a classic corn snack (think denser Frito).

Red Chile Crescents: These are by far the yummiest snack in this mix. I happen to be a huge fan of Japanese rice crackers and these are definitely modeled off the little orange crescents in basic rice cracker mixes. They are really smooth on the outside so the spice on them sticks right to your tongue when you eat them and they are super crunchy.

Overall effect: A full mouthful of these snacks is pretty fiery, but the crunchier snacks are overwhelmed by the mushier ones (peanuts and sesame sticks) so the texture is not very appealing. It’s hard to pick out specific flavors and I don’t think this snack really comes across as Cajun flavored. They are totally overseasoned and although salt is good in trail mix if you’re out in the wild I think these are too much.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 5/10

Bottom Line: Some good, some mushy, all salty

HEY spicy snack fans! Also- check out our brand new special customized spicy snack Amazon store! A heat lover's haven for all things spicy...you can buy this trail mix (if you dare) and many of our actual favorite spicy snacks online!

Snack #133- Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili Flavored Tortilla Chips

Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili Flavored Tortilla Chips

So these Doritos are weird because there is NO nacho cheese involved in them. They are sweet but I think that the sweet flavoring kind of clashes with the tortilla chip- or maybe with the corn base it’s all just too sweet. I think a spicy sweet chili potato chip might be more successful. These aren’t bad, but I just don’t find them to be very successful. They also aren’t spicy and don’t really taste that much like sweet chili sauce, which is usually really yummy. They mostly taste like a tortilla chip dipped in soy sauce and sugar with a little heat in the aftertaste.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 1/10

Bottom Line: Soy sauce flavored tortilla chips.

Buy them here:

Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili flavored tortilla chips

Snack #132- T.G.I. Friday’s Jalapeño Cheddar Potato Skins Snack Chips

T.G.I. Friday’s Jalapeño Cheddar Potato Skins Snack Chips

Ew. So these are actually supposed to look like dehydrated potato skins- meaning somehow the backside is a darker shade of brown to mimic the potato skin and the other side is the lighter potato mush. The packaging says it is made from real potatoes and real potato skins and the best way I can interpret that is that two bubbling pots of potato and potato skin mush were spread out Pringle-style and slapped together. These snacks taste like the worst Pringles ever and the flavoring doesn’t really help. The powdery cheddar flavor and weak jalapeño flavor aren’t appealing enough to make me want to eat these.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 2/10

Bottom Line: Worst texture ever with artificial flavors.

Buy them here:

TGI Fridays Jalapeno Ched Skin 3 oz. (Pack of 6)

Snack #131- 7 Select Kettle Style Potato Chips Spicy Jalapeño

7 Select Kettle Style Potato Chips Spicy Jalapeño

These potato chips are pretty crunchy but not as salty as a typical potato chip. They have a lot of sweetness to them which is a little overwhelming. The dehydrated onion is a powerful flavor and really the main flavor you get when you eat these. They have pretty decent heat though they aren’t super spicy, but for a snack they are the kind of thing you can sit down and eat a bag of without burning your tastebuds out. They should just be a little more salty and maybe hold back on the onion a little bit. Overall a tasty snack though and definitely has some heat but not lasting heat.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 4/10

Bottom Line: Really sweet onion flavor.

Snack #130 - Terra Crinkles Jalapeño Chili

Spotted a brand new chip from the good people at Terra - Jalapeño Chili - described as having the "zing of jalapeño and chili peppers." These were some tasty chips, but for our spicy snack purposes, really brought more of a hint of jalapeño and chili peppers than a real ZING. The taste was predominantly chili powder, with some nice garlic and onion flavor. The chips themselves, thick cut blue potatoes (has anyone ever seen a BLUE potato? outside of these chips?), had some flavor of their own (the bag describes it as "nutty," but that wouldn't really be my adjective of choice, more just a robust potato flavor). I only wish that the chips had been fried a little longer. Maybe I've just gotten used to the intense crunch of the kettle cooked chips that are popping up everywhere, but these weren't quite crunchy enough for my taste.

On a somewhat related side note, I wish it was not the case that the more you spend on a bag of chips, generally, the less chips that bag will contain. Clocking in at $3.99 at your neighborhood Wholefoods, these Terra chips were barely 1/3 full.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 2/10

Bottom Line: no ZING but plenty of good flavor

Snack #129 - Popchips Jalapeño Potato

A new flavor from Popchips! I was pretty excited when I stumbled across this today. Generally I really enjoy Popchips - they're light and crunchy and vaguely healthier than regular chips since they are "popped" (whatever that means...) rather than fried. Compared to the other Popchips flavors, these were a pretty big disappointment. When I opened the bag, a vaguely Indian scent wafted out, which was unexpected but not altogether unwelcome. However, the flavor was overwhelmingly tomato-y. "Tomato?" you ask, "But these are jalapeño flavored!" Indeed they are, but I learned today that according to Popchips, the first ingredient in its "jalapeño seasoning" is tomato powder. Now, I don't really know what tomato powder is, but I do know that it tastes pretty gross, and not at all spicy [Disclaimer: I HATE tomatoes]. Maybe if you like tomatoes, you will really enjoy this chip, but regardless of whether or not I like tomatoes, when I open a bag of jalapeño flavored chips, I would like to taste some jalapeño, not tomato sauce with a kick. As far as spiciness goes, there was a little heat that never really built up in intensity, but lingered on the palate for a while.

Rating on the Spice-O-Meter: 3/10

Bottom Line: A decent tomato chip if you're into that sort of thing

Buy them here:
Popchips Jalapeno Potato, 3- Ounce Boxes (Pack of 12)